Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Article: BLANK EXPRESSIONS by xoxo

Because I hate TV I spend most of my time talking

Some are idle chatters many are conversations that just get deeper and deeper till you forget the main topic.

One conversation I just had to email was between my friends and I, all my friends know about my blog and everyone seems conscious these days no one wants to be quoted…lol

There was this day the rain beat me like I was the reason it poured. It would stop the moment I stepped into the bus and start again the moment I got down, not 1 person even stopped to give the lady a lift (times sure have changed) till a nice chap who didn’t mind his leather seats became my angel.

So the other day we had dinner at hotel Ibis, he’s a pilot, handsome, he’s enveloped in the quiet boy fa├žade to the point of boredom, You know this kind of bad boys that hide behind innocent unassuming smiles… he’s one of those people that have their face slapped with this permanent blank expression so let’s call him BLANK.

You know that awkward moment when a guy says ‘so what’s good?’ for the umpteenth time, then you know it’s time to call it a night. Ours was far worse because it was 20min ago we arrived, dinner wasn’t even served, he was that boring *rolls eyes*. The night was well coordinated,well planned though, he was trying too hard but I was flattered!

I survived the night and the next day while hanging out with my close pals as usual he sent a thank you note with a big box of chocolates and oh my we had chocolate like it was a course meal. Couple of days later I got these pretty pair of shoes, really nice shoes (my exact size though I don’t like heels) and now I got curious. I’m not one of those girls this happens to everyday so I had to question Blanks motives, generosity and sweetness. All my male friends unanimously agreed Blank definitely wanted to tap that azz! So this was the bases of our conversation.

My squeaky clean saint called friends insisted I return the gifts. As self-disciplined as I am returning those shoes had ‘gottu’ be the joke of the decade. Everyone agreed I should be ready to play ball when payback comes.  Yes, call me greedy I’m definitely keeping those shoes…I may consider returning the thank you note though. o_O

I know he didn’t like me but was interested in the booty so I took everything he said with a pinch of salt though I won’t deny I didn’t do same with his gifts, my friends disagree and feel I’ve a fear of commitment but that is just gist for another day!

So I did return the thank you note the next time we saw I explained in my sweetest voice and most sober countenance why we couldn’t date he kept quiet for what seemed like eternity and then he asked for not just the shoes but all his gifts “I mean if you won’t date me return all my gifts”, this was were the guys agreed and the ladies disagreed. It was a month now and I had either eaten all the gifts or worn them except those shoes .i mean who does that?

My male friend, let’s call him RIDICULOUSLY ANNOYING, questioned why we ladies believe we earn nice things and gifts just because we are genetically modeled women? I saw some sense in the claim that if women are handed out cash we would take it as an insult but so now the deal is to be given the monetary equivalent in gifts (indirectly paying for my azz)  then it becomes okay to then tap the azz? That is game? And Blank scored a high 85% for effort!!! Guys are annoying!

I guess we would just never truly get the male folk would we?,Oo puleaze don’t ruffle me I am definitely not returning those shoes, I insist it’s a trophy for the torture from a boring date!


  1. hilarious!!..NEKS

  2. @NEKS u dey here again??rily hilarious! Am wif u jor,keep d shoes n delete him frm ur contact.som fyn boys wif der boring yeye attitude.

  3. i could only imagine dat its ladies dat insist u keep d shoes. rily hilarious tho. real.

  4. Those shoes have caused serious trouble.Real bad luck shoes.
    Okay didn't get the story line from the begining and had to come way back and I #lovesit!
    Meanwhile all this stories are they all from 1 writer? Because from all I've read I can't tell if you are a man/woman.
    Anyway please reply my mail.I didn't find the newsletter widget.

  5. xoxo, just play "balls", play them like d gulf ball with a heavy swing.
    Some guys shaaa, can be too assuming.