Wednesday, 28 November 2012

25 things to do before 25 by xoxo Part II

#1 Take Your Litmus Gold test

Whatever you define as your own standards of rich, by all means date a rich guy! And the reason is simple women are categorized into2 types: - the full-time goldiggerz and the occasional goldiggerz!

Occasional in the sense that she isn’t always after a guys’ hard earned sweat i.e. money isn’t the major factor but has to be a factor and full-timers in the sense that every type Is her type provided you “show me the $$” i.e. money is the only factor, like am yet to see a woman who will turn down say CL* shoes as a gift even if she has over 3 unused pairs, and even if the gift is coming from a man that is physically not her type. And this is immaterial of whether she has got her own money or not.

That’s why with women it’s never enough, shoes, gold, bags, clothes, diamonds or faux diamonds it’s just never enough.

So dating a rich guy before 25 is your ultimate litmus test to tell the kind of goldigger you have grown up to be; afterwards you can genuinely say “ye I liked his money but I loved the guy” or “ye I loved his money, not so much the guy himself” or exclaim dryly “he his stingy!”…the stingy card is more often than not associated with bankers.

To date a banker I must be lonely, ugly, old, and horny even if I’m already 2 of the 4…lol…I mean who dates bankers? except bankers themselves of course or other women who have run out of options i.e. 4 out of the 4….meaning bankers are everybody’s last bait why? They are seemingly or perceivably stingy. N.B if you think you love him while he’s yet to be rich believe me you would be over the heels in love once he begins to spend that dough.

The Nigerian environment on its own makes relationship hard work, so guys you don’t have any options money in romance is the most important thing, I dare say it’s the only important thing, well that is after sex…lol. You see the sex thing breaks all the rules, so if you are not exactly a sex Adonis you have no other option than up your $$ game but nobody says she won’t still be rocking the magic stick of a sex Adonis by the side…who said life was fair???lol

So after dating a rich guy a lot of ladies actually do test positive to gold digging. I failed my goldigging test woefully too many times to care. I’m a goldigger fair and square but I’m better than millions of others out there I’m an occasional goldigger .hehehehe

Okay full-time goldiggers have to feel good about digging you are envied by me, I mean mom always says "what is worth doing is what doing well",and I believe her. It’s not an easy job ask professional drenchers and leeches it’s highly labor intensive, time consuming and emotionally draining. You sacrifice love, romance and always have to keep your mind on nothing but the price cos every day is a work day, in fact you’ll should be taxed!

Well men think 99.9% of women are full-time goldiggers anyway only that the one’s that actually have the gold worth digging in the first place constitute only 1% of the total population and are occasionally
emotionally unavailable. Women view every other woman who does a better job at digging as terrible goldiggers e.g. wives as much as the society likes to view them as squeaky clean and victims they are the biggest goldiggers alive, single ladies are only able to scramble the crumbs that fall off their tables but sustain themselves by pooling from serial monogamous relationships.

Some guys fall into the euphoria of she loves me for who I am, I’m sure she does but when a man going through say a divorce asks his wife what went wrong between us she goes something like we don’t have spark anymore so that brings us to what constitutes a spark in a relationship; romantic dinners, holiday vacations, roses, perfumes even a cheap trip to tantalizers involves money so women are advised while digging responsibly to dig hard as possible, because while men are known to put their mouth were their money is they are not necessarily smart about that e.g. you hear men say something like she’s so easy I had her after buying chips and chicken or after taking her clubbing. Meaning in other words even if I had to lay you and you also wanted to be laid so bad you would have let me spend loads more rather than consider me…so you automatically become devalued by being you.

Guys think 30% of men are whack in bed, women think 60% of noisemakers are whack in bed but in reality 80% of men are really whack in bed so that means there is a 0.8% probability chance of ending up with a whacker at least if you must stay there must be something in it for you.
So the moral of the story is let the men spend, they really want to! They love us for being goldiggerz.


  1. Yay!!! First. this is in all honesty the naked truth.
    Love me some xoxo

  2. Very Very true!! Eye-opener LOL!

  3. On behalf of all my fellow bankers I officially boycott your blog!ahah
    Howver all you said is the rea+were did you get the whak guys statistics?are you sharing you stats based on experience??
    Also I agree on the wives goldigging skillz mine gets anything off me and I don't even see it coming.
    Another classic from xoxo,9s1!lity

  4. Lmao@ bankers. I once dated a banker and he wasn't stingy. Well what happens to those of us above 25??
    Funny and true write up.

  5. yea truth abt bankers they re fucking stingy i once had a boi friend who is a banker nd very stingy, 2 of my male fwends re also bankers nd stingy also duno if they told them neva 2 spend nd 4 we ladies we reli gold diggers nd im loving it cos we knw hw 2 dig well doh 4 the smart ones lol
    classic 4rm xoxo gossip gals

  6. XOXO needs to visit Yaba left,she's insane!! Nice way to put the truth out there Lol

  7. You cornered both party. Can't even decipher which part you criticizing. Nice one pulled out. She's a golddigger and I know it, so not bothered cos I gat all she needs to dig. Xoxo

  8. ahhh! wealth and sex...the basis of we humans.

  9. Finally! Someone says it! Bankers are "NO NOs". I almost felt guilty for thinking that. Not that's reaffirmed. My name is N and I'm an occasional gold digger.hehe!

  10. I aint messing with a gold digger.1st format "plz send me recharge card"

  11. Looking through your post i)what is your fascination with CL shoes? ii)'To date a banker I must be lonely, ugly, old, and horny even if I’m already 2 of the 4…lol' i will pick old and ugly and that explains why you are horny iii)you didnt define who professional drenchers and leeches are. Iv) pls work on your punctuations.

    Loving your blog tasty and refreshing.

  12. *Kanye's Voice*...... "I ain't sayin she a gold digger but she ain't messing with no broke ni99a"....... Morale of the story: fellas,up your ante up,make that money n everything else shall be added unto you

  13. Nice blog, very inspiring

  14. Awww almost didn't want it to end.
    Totally enjoyed reading.