Friday, 23 November 2012

25 things to do before 25 by xoxo

1 Sex on the Beach
  It has only 1 rule; there is No shame to have no shame.

  Yeah yeah lotta sex therapists would tell you, you learn by touching yourself. I say you learn by getting your adrenaline pumped. I have a friend who came for the first time in her life first then peed on herself when a gun was pointed to her head she dare not mention she would so love to be robbed again…lol

  School was amazing, thank you for the mails and my exams were even better someone asked me for the high points of exams for me its cumin during exams…yeah I said it I actually cum during exams. You know that rush that comes when you are not done writing and you hear the invigilator scream ‘pens up!!!’ and there is pandemonium, people are rushing, jumping on tables trying to submit and you are still writing and then out of nowhere you feel it boiling inside of you about to explode then….then….then……….yeah that’s the feeling. I know I’m not alone it’s so satisfying… better than an A+, I didn’t just say that…*covers mouth* mom I’m sorry.

Like having sex at the back sit of the car other women have that feeling for example when they cheat on their men, it makes the sin sweeter and your residence in hell even Remember what I always say about enjoying one’s sins? That’s the whole idea it’s not the sin by itself it’s the thought of getting caught that is the steaze. My icing on cake orgasm I must say was at the beach and like whitney houston’s song if I’m asked what I did with my life I would say I achieved the best orgasm ever…when you consider all the women who have never had one you would realize yeah! It’s that much of a big deal!

I’m not a fan of the beach, So while the whole country is going gaga about the MOG’s purchasing private jets im going gaga myself cos bf is still away and my 6 months celibacy makes me assess the bulge in the pelvic region of everything that moves in pants I said bulge not ‘V’ shapes…hehehe who would have thought that? The day would come when the hardest mysteries would be solved on the beach?

Okay let me gist you about that experience it was sexmazing it was my final paper yeah I hadn’t read jack shit but I could befriend Jack Daniels, that’s the shit, you won’t let that just pass with the roll of grass.

You know sometimes to get the orgasm you picture another guy making love to you, for some its exes who give amazing heads or for the shallow types it could even be any Brad Pitt in the magazine covers…the naïve once call names I mean that’s just so dumb! You are screwing Ope and moaning Ayo, how and why??? Wait a minute! It’s not just the cheating by itself or the adrenaline pop it’s all in your imagination babes that’s the brain house of that power orgasm… learn to activate The f*ckatoids!!!

Okay I had this amazing fugly frog moment with this whimsical borrower….. It was sex in the beach with multiple midstream orgasms, like words can’t even begin to describe… okay the procedure is this 1st relax with the grass. The beach is the best place to get the rizlar rolled and burnt out like an airtime. Now to what end is that? so in my mind I had motive like he did so we go to the sea side I miss my steps on purpose I had my whole thinking straight and I had it all planned out but I needed an excuse just in case it seemed awkward afterwards

 quiet or it could be the determination to let nothing stop us, the chic moaning next to us must have been in my mind or she must have been me…lol, her pleasurable cries fueled the flames of mindless passion it was heavenly, footsteps seemed faint and then close and then right next to us. Musicians didn’t lie, I felt I was flying over the moon and cupid cherubs were playing the violin. Sex and grass with the master mix four elements of earth, air, wind and fire!!! it was an insanely dangerously combo I couldn’t have enjoyed his vicious bites better, even the spirits of the water in jealous range fought hard as the Water continued aggressively coming, but I was cumin, I didn’t care if I died at that point I would have died fighting the orgasmic fight!

  After all was done while the vanquished was too petrified to speak, the victor was too self-satisfied to care.

  So the moral of a story is if you are a customs officer and need to be posted far away to the deserts of the north and then you leave your incredibly hot and horny Gf in the south then Buy her a vibrator rather than allow another guy do the vibrating. Warning to my Bf!!!


  1. Great artistry of words, I'm not a woman but even I could tell how much u enjoyed it...

  2. Xoxo you will definately kill yourself 1day.
    Too much imagination,your boo is so blessed I almost felt like a woman. T

  3. I'm "cuming" to meet you. No pun intended. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

  4. Getting crazier than ever!!! Lmao

  5. ᴼᴹᴳ It has happened to me b4...cummin whn the invigilator said pens up!!! But that has happened only 1st year in uni. Can't 4get dat dat lailai.
    Well my fantasy is to av mind blowing sex on the beach. Can't wait. *dancing*

  6. Omg* U r definately under the influence!

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