Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Sweetnotes: The love that got away by RUDY

I lost my love "Mama", I don't know how many souls can relate to me. She is everything that I've ever wanted. All of my life I thought I already know what love is. But Mama showed me a whole new meaning of love.

I can kiss her for hours, time seems to stop when I'm with her, we can talk for countless hours, her soul seems to be connected to me, I can easily understand what she feels, I can easily know what is on her mind. We can just stay in bed and make love for hours and forget the whole world. I made love to her more than anyone else in my life. Making love to her even three times a day seems so easy and it's such a pure joy. We make love with our body and soul.

I just love everything about her, her hair is perfect, the smell of her porcelain skin, her green eyes that changes to gray when there's a bit of lights. Her hands fit perfectly to my hands when we hold each other. Her face is the most beautiful that I have ever seen, when she looks at me, I can see through her soul. I can see how much she loves me. I just love her in so many ways.

It started with a kiss, and after we kissed, it was my first 9ja kiss, I even dreamed about it, we are together every day yet even in my sleep I'm still dreaming about her. I swear I never felt connected so much with someone my whole life. But it hurts that am writing this behind you. When I hug her I feel I have in my arms everything that I need.

I want to be with her but we met at the wrong time of my life, I want to give up everything that I have but It will hurt the people that I love. I chose not to hurt the people I love over her at the end, I chose to let her go in order for me to stop hurting her, I chose to be dead inside so she can have her life back. How I wish that my life is not complicated so I can be happy, so we can be happy.

Here's all you have to know about men and women, women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

It's been years but I swear there was never a day that I did not think of Mama, I said to myself that if I just forget Mama for a day maybe I can start to move on, but it never happened. Each day of my life I still remember Mama, anything seems to remind of Mama. I am dead inside and Mama is the only one who can bring back the life inside of me. My life seems perfect from the outside, but my heart is just totally missing, Mama took it with her when she left. I had many chances to bring Mama back in my arms but I chose what seems to be right in the sight of everyone. I chose not to hurt others, I chose to forget myself, I chose to let go of Mama so she can have a new life, I hope she will be happy even without me. But as for me I know I will just spend the rest of my life reminiscing our time together and imagining what could have been if I chose my own happiness over the happiness of others, I need my true Love, I need my life.